its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
