Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
