check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
