I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
