just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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