Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
