if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
