He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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