Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
