We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
