He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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