look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
