Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The power of my boobs compel you
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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