Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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