dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
