Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
