I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we're making bets on your personal life
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
