dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
