i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize