it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
