I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You need Xanax blowdarts
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have fence marks all over my body
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
