Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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