He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
