Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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