Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize