how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
