i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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