Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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