ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
