I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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