margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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