Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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