piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
