Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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