She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
