I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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