there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize