The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
