so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
