we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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