I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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