i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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