i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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