Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry e217 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(414): View more from Wisconsin

I skipped work to stalk him.

Fav 17 1150 3618
share tweet
(631): View more from New York

I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore

Fav 9 1319 2352
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(302): View more from Delaware

I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.

Fav 13 905 3563
share tweet
(281): View more from Texas

His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled

Fav 20 1289 4614
share tweet
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.

Fav 13 3388 1005
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.

Fav 7 2693 1015
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(514): View more from Quebec

I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.

Fav 6 1054 1475
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(509): View more from Washington

The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.

Fav 1 438 207
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(727): View more from Florida

We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.

Fav 0 86 27
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT