That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I want to be your penis for a week.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
