i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
