the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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