I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
