Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
