We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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