which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm passing your future prison.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
