Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
