Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
