End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
