hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
