Where is the hickey?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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