really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize