No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize