I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
