party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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