just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
it's like iHOP with fire
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
