He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
