Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
