I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
