I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Randomize